A group of UCLA-Emory University scientists suspect they may have the answer to why chimpanzees can’t vocalize as we do. We now go live to Gene for more on the story. Gene?

Huh? Where’d all these cameras come from? Hey, get that microphone out of my face! Can’t you see I’m busy making potatoes gratiné?

Yeah, I’m Gene. Chimps? What do I look like, a zoo keeper? I’m a just freakin’ accountant trying to keep my family fed with good meals, you know?

One thing I can tell you is how glad I am that I picked up these Orka Silicone 17” Oven Mitts. These gratinés get hot and stay hot stay for a long while after it comes out of the oven. These mitts, though, they’re heat resistant up to 480º Fahrenheit, so I don’t worry about burning myself at all. They’re long, too, and waterproof just in case I accidentally spill boiling water or oil on my hands. And when I’m done, I just throw them in the dishwasher. Simple.

No, I do not care to speculate on why chimps can’t talk like we do! Maybe because they’re chimps and not people? How’s that for an answer? Now, get out of my house! I need to get started on this rhubarb pie before my wife gets home.

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