Take off my oven mitts? Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Yeah, sure, I’ll just slip these OrkaPlus Silicone Oven Mitts off and throw them any old place. Maybe I’ll even store them with the second pair they came with in the 2-pack, huh?. Is that what you want? Because I’m “not cooking” and there’s “nothing in the oven”? Yeah, I bet those are your reasons.

Don’t even think for a second that I don’t know what you’re up to. You mean to steal my comfortable and extremely resilient silicone oven mitts with removable cotton lining in the night! Yes, that’s right. And then when my hands weren’t protected and ready to grip some hot pan that seemingly came out of nowhere, you’d strike at me with a sizzling skillet! Then where would I be? My poor withering blistered hands would be unable to stop you from getting at my prized My Little Pony collection, would they? Go ahead and deny it all you want, but I’ve seen the way you look at Lickety-Split, you cad. As the Power of Friendship as my witness, you will never take possession of those ponies.

So sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’ll be taking off my OrkaPlus Silicone Oven Mitts any time soon. In fact, I may never take them off again, and wouldn’t that put a tidy little end to your itty-bitty equine escapade?

Back to top