If this doesn’t discourage people from talking to me on the plane, I don’t know what will.

Some people are just friendly. They can strike up a conversation with anybody, anywhere, on just about any topic. I have friends like that. In fact, that’s why I’m friends with them: they just approached me out of the blue and started chatting. And I can appreciate that in a person. Hell, I envy them. But the simple fact remains that I’m just not a social person.

I don’t care if you’re just making polite conversation. I don’t care if we’re both stuck at the bus stop, or on a train, or waiting for a layover. I’ll find a way to entertain myself. I certainly don’t need to hear about how this is your first time flying to Denver and you can’t wait to get back to your three boys and how Tyler’s soccer team won second place. There’s a reason you’re doing all the talking and I’m nodding and offering only the occasional, “Uh huh,” or “Wow,” or “That sounds nice.” I don’t care. I’m just trying to get through my flight, okay?

Usually I can just pop an aspirin and lie about how it was a valium and then pretend to fall asleep. That’s if I forget to keep my headphones on at all times to discourage you from talking to me in the first place, but no. The flight attendant made me take them off, as if that will prevent me from booting up my electronic device mid-takeoff and sending us all into the Pacific.

So I’m taking it to the next level with this Optoma PK102 Pico Pocket Projector with 16.5” Screen. It’s got 4GB of internal memory so I can get about eight hours of video without even having to hook it up to my PC. But I could totally hook it up to my PC. Hell, I could hook it up to my iPhone if I decide to spring for the optional connector. And sure, I could throw a 60” diagonal screen on the wall to watch a movie, but this included screen should fit on my tray table. In fact, I think I can position it just right to block out your face entirely.

“Have a nice flight,” indeed.

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