There’s an Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale on sale at Woot today [more inside]

So the Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale supposedly works for people of nearly all heights (3’ 4” to 6’ 6” and a bit) and all adult ages (18 to 80). It monitors weight, body fat, and visceral fat as well as offering six fitness indicators and full body sensing. But, one really must ask the question, is it forcing Americans to conform to some sort of corporate norm that replaces true beauty with a sort of plastic shell? Shouldn’t we be happy with who we are, and be accepting our extra weight, rather than try to lose it?
posted by W.C. Seinfields at 11:34:21

W.C., you’re one of my favorite posters, but you’re way off base here. The Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale isn’t a “corporate tool”, it’s a way to measure your own progress toward goals that you set. If you want a low BMI and Body Weight, the Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale will let you know how you’re progressing. If you want to do nothing but eat cheesesteaks and inflate your Skeletal Muscle to the size of the National Dept, the Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale will help you do that too. It’s not about conforming. It’s about being who you really are.
posted by Rooster_with_Celery at 11:36:18

Rooster, you couldn’t be more wrong. A Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale is designed to MAKE YOU WANT TO BE THINNER. It’s MIND CONTROL on a MASSIVE scale! Think MKULTRA here! It allows a comprehensive understanding of your body type, and that is exactly how the government hopes to come in and control what I think and read. It’s not too far a stretch for me to think that Bill Hicks would have been against a product like this. Are you familiar with Bill Hicks, Rooster? Because if you were, you wouldn’t be trying to convince me that the Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale is worthwhile. You’d be at home, listening to Bill Hicks records. Which everyone should be doing, all the time. Too bad he passed away, I bet he’d totally would have agreed with me and we would have been the best of friends. You know, I’ve been his biggest fan ever since I fell off that donkey just outside of Damascus. So rest in peace, Bill. And boy, am I glad you never lived to see this Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale travesty.
posted by TexasSaul at 11:37:10

Rest in peace, Bill.

Is he someone you’d have to watch television to know about? Because I don’t. I don’t watch any television. Just throwing that out there. About how I don’t watch television. Even though you clearly do. Unlike me.
posted by AgathaWisftfully at 11:38:32

Boy, I bet that built-in 90 days worth of memory is pretty sweet. If you can compare your old measurements with your current measurements to see your progress and how you’ve been meeting your goals, that could easily translate into a database program. How big is 90 days? Has anyone tried to port Nethack to this?
posted by CountXeroed at 11:40:11

Has anyone tried to port Nethack to this?

Is that a television show? Or a movie? I wouldn’t know, because I don’t support either. I also only buy my books from used book stores. All I read are mysteries about cats and early Asimov. I don’t think I’d ever use this Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale, but I must say, I do like how it translates the fitness indicators into a measure of your body’s current age. That would be an excellent concept to work into a novel, an assassin that was older than s/he appeared. Perhaps I will write it, with all the time I save by not paying attention to current cultural trends.
posted by AgathaWistfully at 11:58:13

That would be a terrible idea for a book. Also this Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale is a terrible idea. And it’s sexist. And biased. And probably racist, although I don’t really care to explain why just now. I’m just disgusted it even exists. One more mindless consumer product. It could have at least been made out of hemp. Ugh.
posted by FarFarLeftLarry at 12:12:12

Meh. A gussied-up scale with clumsy copy and unfunny ideas. Wake me when it’s steampunk.
posted by SteamyWonder at 12:14:28

It says there’s a four person profile. Is that really something people would use? I mean, who knows four people IRL? But I like that Nethack idea, that could really make this worthwhile.
posted by Dragonmere Horcrux III at 12:15:01

Look, it’s simple. If you want to watch your weight, get a Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale. If you don’t, don’t. This isn’t a big deal here. I don’t see why everyone is flipping out and acting like it’s a personal attack. Are you all projecting inner issues or something?
posted by CuriousVoiceofReason at 12:26:09

Don’t worry, everyone, I banned that troll. He won’t bother you again.
posted by AdminJessie at 12:27:11

The Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale isn’t made for a goddess like me. I eat large pizzas skyclad under the new moon and let their energy refresh my inner cycle as though I were a charged crystal. I know that works better than any man’s science. It’s helped me recover from six heart attacks so far, I don’t see how “diet” and “exercise” and some “Omron Full Body Sensor Composition Monitor and Scale” would make things any different. Additionally, does anyone know how to make a very strong couch out of wood or metal? Mine keep collapsing. I guess they’re too flimsy.
posted by VoyagerFan at 12:41:02

Wow, I really like to type the word pancakes!
posted by ThreeWolfMeme at 1:14:01

pancakes

Have those ever been on television?
posted by AgathaWistfully at 1:14:22

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