Not being geniuses, most people look at the Omnitech 16878-US and see a solid GPS device with an ample 4.3” LCD TFT touchscreen, text-to-speech directions in three languages, and a 1GB SD card preloaded with Navteq maps of the lower 48. Imprisoned in the straitjacket of conventional thinking, their vision extends no further than its QuickNav button, which calculates directions back home from wherever you are, with just one touch. They see its 1.5 million points of interest, but overlook many more interesting possibilities. And on a day like today, they swoon for the ridiculously low price. Such is the mediocre mind, that can see only what is in front of its face – and even then its sight is befogged.

But I, on the other hand, being endowed with gifts of the intellect unknown to all but the longest-running Tic Tac Dough champions, I see more. I see a device whose WinCE operating system makes it a blank canvas upon which I will hack my masterpiece! I have devoted my life to a detailed study of how to mod this device, as explained on secret hidden arcane message boards (registration required). Adding new maps? Points of interest? Preferred software from other GPS devices? Mere child’s play. Changing the text-to-speech voice, or making it say “Turn left at next corner, oh peerless scientific giant of your time”? A mere lark. Transforming it into an MP3 or video player? Well, you might have to add a couple of other Windows files, or whatever – but nothing a genius like me can’t handle!

You say it is a crime against technology for me to twist this Omnitech 16878-US into something different, something better, something its makers never intended? I say it is you who are criminally negligent for ignoring this magnificent device’s full potential! Such might, such elegance is wasted simply telling you how to get to your hotel off the highway outside of Akron! I will mod and hack the Omnitech 16878-US, and any who stand in my way will need directions only to the cemetery!

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