Hey, when you’re a big TV star, sometimes you just feel like stepping out incognito.

Look, you know what these things are. We know what these things are. But we can’t call ‘em that – and neither can you. While you’re enjoying the unparalleled fleece comfort and unselfconscious convenience of America’s favorite neo-garment, you may refer to it using one of the following Woot-approved noms de sloth:

• Wrapathy
• I Can’t Believe It’s Not Just a Blanket With Arm Holes
• the Surrender Gown
• Cloak of the Dyslexic Wizard
• Fleece Birth Control
• Depression Binky
• CuddleShroud
• the Infantilikilt
• +3 Shawl of Telecommuting
• OK, You Got Us, It Actually Is Just A Blanket With Arm Holes

Why? Well, that’s a very complicated question which cannot be examined without a comprehensive acknowledgement of the various entities (legal, financial, and extra-terrestrial) affected by the provisions of any contractual agreement between the contending parties. Or maybe we acquired these through less-than-official channels and don’t need your big mouth broadcasting it all over town, OK?

We’ve implanted listening devices in every single one of these to make sure none of you violate this term. Or maybe it’s a condition. Either way, watch it. But hey, you can call the book lights whatever you want.

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