My surefire plan to losing weight? Simple psychology.

See, we are not our brains. We are the things driving our brains. That’s why, to lose weight, I needed three things. A Mountainsmith Kinetic II Lumbar Pack, a bag of snack cakes, and a mountain.

The Mountainsmith Kinetic II Lumbar Pack is a nice bag, plenty of pockets, plenty of room, a holder for two 22 oz bottles (not included, of course) and it’s easy to strap on your back. So it was child’s play to fill it with a box of snack cakes and start out on my journey.

As I walked, I would eat the snack cakes, which of course seems counter-intuitive. But consider: a hard, grueling hike burns calories as it causes muscle strain. And with every step, my Mountainsmith Kinetic II Lumbar Pack is associating that strain with the taste of a pre-wrapped snack cake. I plan to do this every day, and before the year is out, I’ll have conditioned myself like a puppy, and I’ll never be able to eat a snack cake again! All thanks to the roomy, comfortable Mountainsmith Kinetic II Lumbar Pack!

And I’m sure the sixty pounds I’ve gained is just water weight. My theory’s gonna pay off, you mark my words.

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