No, the ad was right. It’s a three bedroom apartment, not a studio.

First, there’s the room we’re standing in. That’s one bedroom. Then there’s the two rooms in the Mountain Trails Grand Pass Family Dome Tent that’s set up over there by the oven. Three bedrooms. The numbers don’t lie.

Quick to leave so soon, sir? But why? You said you needed an apartment for your family. How many kids do you have? Two? Sir, this tent can sleep up to seven people comfortably. Your whole family could live in here, and you could use the rest of the apartment as kind of an insulated, indoor patio thing. All you need to do is install the insulation. That’s it over there in a pile in the corner.

You know what, let’s just forget about the rest of the apartment and focus on the tent part, okay? You can leave it up all the time, if you want. But it’s also super easy to take down and put back up thanks to its shock-corded fiberglass poles and a pin-and-ring system. And it’s got a hooped fly for additional stability and rain protection, which is really great considering the building’s touchy sprinkler system.

But the best part: you can bring the comforts of home along with you on vacation. The tent-part of the apartment comes with a Stow ‘n’ Go duffel system. So you can take it virtually anywhere, as long as you don’t mind forfeiting your damage deposit.

I really think you and your family will be happy here, but why don’t you take some time and think about it. Then when you’re ready to sign a lease, give me a call. Any time. Seriously. I’m available 24 hours a day. And I live in the building. In fact, that sleeping bag there right inside the tent’s door? That’s me.

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