As holiday time approaches, let us reflect on a Christmas tradition that’s been around from the beginning: showing up your family members, coworkers and loved ones by giving nicer gifts than theirs.

On the first Christmas, all those years ago, it was Gaspar the magus who flaunted the agreed-upon spending limit and brought gold for the Christ child, making his fellow magi look like cheapskate schmucks. Frankincense and myrrh! How would you like to be holding tchotchkes like these—the ancient Holy Land’s equivalent of the Body Shop gift basket—when the guy who shared a ride with you comes bearing some pricey, 24-karat showpiece of Persian metalwork?

This year, know Gaspar’s smug satisfaction, not Melchior and Balthasar’s embarrassed shame. Give Woot’s super-limited, highly exclusive gift box of Monkey Prize wine. Comprising three bottles of Monkey Prize, the latest intoxicant from Woot Cellars, this gift set also includes a stretch-armed stuntmonkey toy. The plush primate has an adorable Woot cape-and-helmet ensemble and elasticized forelimbs that give him super-simian-slingshot action—send him flying up to 50 feet through the air as he emits hysterical, high-pitched screams! This toy occupies that narrow sliver of the Venn diagram where “hilarious” overlaps “so irritating you’ll want to hang someone, maybe yourself.”

It’s all packaged in the Woot Cellars gift box, handsomely crafted from some of the cheapest wood available, and emblazoned with a bucolic scene of the paysage that nourishes our grapes, if you get our meaning.

Monkey Prize hootch is beloved by wooters, oenophiles and chimpanzees alike, as seen in our recent promotional video. It sold like crack-dusted hotcakes when we launched it on wine.woot this past Monday, and it’s in very limited supply here, so don’t waste too much time on the hem ‘n’ haw. Give it to anyone who’s hard to shop for (and over 21 and not pregnant)—after all, what kind of concrete-craniumed cretin wouldn’t kvell upon receipt of this handsome gift set? We recommend picking one up for that special someone at the top of your gift list, too: you.

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