It’s so peaceful here at the Facility. So quiet. So nice. And ever since the Professor installed the Mitsubishi PlasmaPure Air Purifier, we don’t notice the terrible stench coming from the basement.

The Professor says its microdust filter and plasma deodorization keep those awful smells from hurting us. It’s very effective against formaldehyde, ammonia, and other stinky chemicals the Professor likes to play with. It doesn’t drain too much power from the Facility’s generator, and it’s so quiet, those policemen didn’t even hear it that one time they tried to come take us all away.

It used to be that when the Professor chose one of us to take down into the laboratory, the rest of us would smell the most horrible things. It was so bad, we forgot to say goodbye to whoever it was. But the Professor would always say he fixed them up so they didn’t need to stay here anymore, and that we would see them when we got out. That’s nice.

Nice. Like the Mitsubishi PlasmaPure Air Purifier. Like the Professor. I hope he fixes me up soon, too.

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