There’s a perfectly good reason why I threw myself down on the hardware store floor screaming and kicking, honey. That reason is Science.

Of course, I’m serious, Holly. Do you really think I’d be confronting you in this crowded drive-thru if I wasn’t? A man doesn’t just sit in his car in his wife’s office’s parking lot and follow her to a Meaty Pop’s just for fun, you know. Not a mature one, anyway.

Which brings me to my point… hey HEY, I know you had to pull up, could you watch my toes here?

Look, I’m not saying what I did was right. I think we both said some things we didn’t mean. All I was trying to do was convince you how amazingly rad it would be having a tree-house and a Midland 20 Mile GMRS Radio 2 Pack for Dave and me to play with on the weekends. And even though you didn’t necessarily need to attack me by reminding me that I’m 35 and “not an eight year-old,” I understand why you did it. You did it for the same reason I retaliated by crying and yelling at the top of my lungs that you never let me do anything fun! Our brains are still… whoa, wait up!

Okay, see, our brains are still developing, Holly! That’s why we still act like children and do stupid stuff sometimes. You know, stuff like denying Dave and me the right to have fun with a couple of 22 Channel water resistant radios with hands-free VOX. Does that sound like anybody you know? See, if you hadn’t been the child, I never would’ve acted out! Now then, don’t you feel a little foolish for kicking me out of the house like you did? I bet you…

HEY, can’t you see I’m trying to forgive you here? Squealing your tires like that is pretty immature, don’t you think? Now how about you buy us a couple of Merry Meat Meals and let’s go home.

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