All right, here we are. Me and my new Matsunichi Photo Blitz 7” PF7e Digital Picture Frame. Who needs one of those tricked-out photo frames that can play music and videos and stuff? Not me. All I want is to be able to view my digital photos. Oh, hey, here’s an old memory card. Wonder what’s on this one…

Wow, this must be old. That’s me and Alison, back when we took that trip to Wyoming wine country. After how bad things got later, I forget we had some pretty good times together. But then she turned into a total drag, always getting after me to pay back that money I borrowed from her mom. You believe she even told me I should pawn my Xbox? Yeah, right. Like I was gonna voluntarily limit myself to just a PS2 and a GameCube. No wonder I had to dump her.

Oh, hey, I took this one when we first moved in together. Man, was that a mistake. Alison always wanted to talk and whatever when I was trying to relax. It was like, I’d come home from work and she’d immediately start grilling me about how my day was and did I want to go out to eat or see a movie. I guess I’m just the kind of person who’s happier on my own, like I am now.

Now what’s going on in this one? Is that…yeah. That’s us at one of her stupid volleyball games. Talk about boring, man. She did look pretty good in those shorts, though. Whoa. This 7”, 480×234 TFT LCD really shows off her legs. I always thought she had great legs.

Heh. I didn’t know this picture was on here. That’s the birthday cake she made me. It was pretty cool, actually. She, like, called my friend Ted to ask him what D&D miniatures to buy, and she made this whole scene on top of the cake. She actually painted them herself. See that, there? That’s my guy, a half-elf Ranger, and he’s fighting off those owlbears over there. I’ll say this for Alison, it’s hard to find a girl who even knows what an owlbear is, much less who’d be willing to paint a miniature of one.

Aw, man. I remember this. Usually Alison was off to work by the time I woke up. She had to be at work crazy early, like 9 in the morning. But this one morning I woke up early for no reason. She just looked so beautiful and peaceful lying there asleep, I had to take a picture of her. I mean, just look at her. She’s, she’s like some kind of angel or something.

Oh, no. Not this one. See, this was at the hospital right after I broke my leg. It was pretty dumb – Ted bet me I couldn’t jump from our porch roof to the roof of the porch next door. I totally thought I could, but later we measured the space between the two roofs and the jump would’ve had to’ve been a world record or something to make it. Anyway, Alison took me to the emergency room, she wheeled me home, she brought me all these treats while I was recuperating…it was pretty awesome…my God, what have I done? How stupid could I have been?

I’ve gotta get her back. Right now. I’ve been such an idiot. Where’s my phone? Ah, here, here, now let me see…Alison, Alison…here we go…

“Hello, Alison? It’s me. Yeah, Corey. Hey, listen, I was just – hello? Alison? Hello?”

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