Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. Your letter made me faint! I could feel the love in your heart in every word. For I understand the ways of the most mysterious of all organs now that I possess the mark… The Mark of Fitness MF-34 Semi-Automatic Blood Pressure Monitor.

My Memory Recall button handles 28-time memory and four 7-time averages. I hold on to each precious beat of your heart, as though they were a kitten and I a hungry vulture that found kittens the sweetest treat of all. I ache in my large digital display, ache to feel your systolic and diastolic blood pressures beat against me, as they did that summer at the lake, when we were alone in the rowboat. You remember, tell me you do. But foolish I, of course you remember.

Sebastian, be my exhaust valve, release this pressure from me rocker style, easing my pressure through rapid deflation. I will meet you on the moors in one week, Sebastian. One week! I pray this letter finds you in time, just as I pray you will be waiting for me there.

All my love,
Hortence

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