Oh, my Hortence, has it been so long, truly? For when I got your letter I could barely contain myself. It is true that you are taken by this curse? Do you truly bear the mark… the Mark of Fitness MF-46 Auto-Inflate Blood Pressure Monitor?

So long has it been since my throat felt the salty-sweet flow of a fizzy glass of Dr. Anchovy. Ever since the I mastered the One Touch Operation. Yes, my love, the time I spend in the comfortable pleasures of higher cuff pressures is now up to me. The three mode fuzzy logic bends beneath my will. And my clothes, sweet Hortence, oh, you would not recognize me!

I have met so many people, taken so many readings, but I can only recall thirty moments, and only then for two people, myself and you, my quick and beautiful love. You are the intelligent IQ System for my heart. You make both systolic and diastolic race. And now, truly, I can be sure I speak the truth.

Hortence, I long to hold you close to me as I check the date and time. Do you recall the promises we made? Tell me our five year warranty is still valid, do. I cannot wait, I pray to all that is holy we will be together again. And soon, my love, soon.

Yours passionately,
Sebastian

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