“Yeah, I’m here to see the Magnavox 32” LCD HDTV. That’s right. The one walkin’ the final mile tonight.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the copper. Come to gloat, copper? Come to watch ‘em plug me in?”

“I’m not here to gloat, 338. I’m here to see if maybe you want to change your story.”

“Change my- you gotta be crazy, copper. I’ve told you the truth from day one. That night in the TV Room, it wasn’t me. It was some other Magnavox 32” LCD HDTV.”

“Okay, 338, okay. I just thought maybe you’d want to close the case once and for all. But I guess you’re takin’ this case with you… when you go.”

“Hey. Hey, copper. You believed me, right? Those people who said the other TV had a black border, mine was silver. Still is silver, right, copper?”

“Still silver, 338. But it was dark that night. And those people said they saw a 32 inch HDTV television. And that’s you, 338. Guess I’ll see you around. Good luck… wherever you end up.”

“Wait, wait! Please, wait! Copper… you know this case, right? You know all the facts?”

“I know the facts, 338. You gonna tell me something I don’t know?”

“How many HDMI ports do I got? C’mon, c’mon. how many.”

“You got two HDMI ports, 338. You know that as well as me.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, how many ports did that other TV have? How many HDMI devices did those people see that night?”

“That night? They saw… they saw… three.”

“Yeah! See? See? It’s like I was tellin’ ya! Just like I was tellin’ ya! There’s another Magnavox 32” LCD HDTV out there! Another TV that looks just like me, but with a black border and three HDMI ports! That’s what those people saw, copper! Not ol’ 338! They saw a 339! A 339 with one extra HDMI port! I’m innocent! I’m innocent and they’re gonna plug me in!”

“Now you listen to me, 338. You listen to me! If you’re lying, so help me God-”

“I ain’t lyin’, copper! I ain’t never been lyin’! I said from the start there was two televisions, remember? But nobody believed me! Not you, not the judge, not the people, nobody!”

“Okay, 338. I believe you now. And I ain’t never let an innocent television get plugged in. I sure ain’t gonna start with you. You sit tight.”

“Sit tight? Where am I gonna go? Hey! Hey, don’t run out on me, copper! Don’t you run out on me! You hear me? You hear me? It was your choice! It was your choice and you made the wrong one! I don’t want to pay the price just because you can’t tell a 338 from a 339! I wanna get outta here! You’ll get me outta here now, right, copper? Right?

“I’ll get you outta here, 338. And get the 339 back in your place to boot. Don’t you worry, Magnavox 32” LCD HDTV. I always clean up my messes.”

Back to top