Wanna make some of that back? Download this $50 rebate form and make sure you send it to Magellan by August 7. Price after rebate is $279.99.

Brothers and sisters, as you travel the onramps and industrial access roads of Creation…as you wander the profane world, taking care not to step in anything too profane…as you search for that outlet mall of the soul where salvation is always priced wholesale…I want you to know that you don’t have to sojourn alone! Someone will ride with you everywhere, if you invite him into your car. Who am I talking about? I’m talking, brothers and sisters, about the Magellan RoadMate 360 GPS Navigation System, shining like a beacon deep into the heavens! Say his name, now!

The Magellan RoadMate knows where you’ve come from – he can save up to 600 destinations. He knows where you need to go, with virtually every road in North America and nearly 2 million points of interest stored in his 2GB memory. He’ll tell you how to get there, if you only open your heart to hear his voice commands. He’ll show you how to get there, if you only open your eyes to see his 3.5” color LCD touchscreen. You know he will! Offer up a glass of woot wine in his name! Praise be!

Now brothers and sisters, some unbelievers want to turn your heart against the Magellan RoadMate 360. They’ll whisper evil things into your ear, tempting you, smiling all the while: “Don’t you want a GPS unit with Bluetooth, and 3-D views, and traffic updates? Wouldn’t that feel good? Don’t you deserve to feel good?” I tell you now, brothers and sisters, turn away from these false friends! To heed their words is to follow them down a gilded road to credit-card perdition!

All you need to do bring the RoadMate’s love into your life is to admit that you’re lost, to admit that you can’t find your own way, to confess that you need the Magellan RoadMate’s guiding hand. Reach out with your heart and your credit card, and he’ll be there alongside you. For a limited time, you can even return this rebate form for $50 off. And yea, though you drive through the valley of S Lone Hill Ave, you will fear no wrong turns, for the Magellan RoadMate 360 is on your dashboard.

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