So, um, we kinda thought one of the good things about IM was that the wom- er, person on the other end doesn’t know what we really look like. Turns out some people actually want to see and be seen while chatting online! If video IMing became the standard, we’d have to lose some weight, start shaving regularly, and pick up a couple of decent outfits. In other words, we’d be at just as much of a disadvantage as we are in our non-IM lives. Naturally, we’re praying this doesn’t catch on.

But for those of you who want to stop making IM faces with punctuation marks and start making them with your real face, the Logitech QuickCam Connect IM USB 2.0 Webcam brings high-quality video and echo-free sound to even your most inane online interactions. The 640×480 VGA video, frame rates up to 30 fps, and clear RightSound audio are sure to capture every one of your flaws in excruciating detail. The USB 2.0 setup is super-mega-easy, it’s compatible with all the popular IM appz, and it includes an earpiece, a mounting clip, and a built-in mic.

And don’t forget the unsettling, eye-like design. Squirm beneath its unwavering gaze as you swap L0Lz0rz with your so-called friends! Tremble as it stalks your nightmares, and search in vain for somewhere to hide! Wonder, while you go about your intimate bidness, if you can ever be sure that it’s really turned off! Maybe if we push the creepiness angle, enough people will be turned off by the idea of video chat that we can get away with regular old non-video IM. But just in case, we’re thinking about climbing on the Stair-Master.

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