Prepare your puny mind for a big-time blowing. The world’s most advanced mouse is in town, and it’s gonna fundamentally transform the way your right hand lolls on your desk all day, occasionally twitching. Spin its nearly frictionless alloy scroll wheel to whiz through lengthy documents at mind-boggling speed—then switch to precision click-to-click mode to linger over lists, slideshows or whatever it is you linger over. Don’t tell us, we don’t want to know.

Hey, you’re a complex primate, so what are you using that opposable thumb of yours for? Closing doorknobs to thwart your clumsy-pawed cats’ attempts to gain access to the laundry room? This by you is dominion over all the beasts of the earth? Man, talk about your all-time underachievements. The MX Revolution’s got a unique thumb wheel you can use to toggle between open documents or adjust the volume on your digital media. Is that Freedom Rock in your playlist? Turn it up, and let any ungulates in earshot eat their hearts out!

Sleek and black, this mighty mouse fits in your hand like a Batarang, and is every bit as dangerous. But not to criminals, to the projects in your “in” box. And, obviously, you don’t throw it at them. You know what? We’re retracting the Batarang analogy; it’s not as good as we thought at first.

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