Los Angeles: 2119. All the smart ones have left. They’re on Mars or one of the colonies. The only people here are regular guys like me. And the La Crosse Technology See-Thru Outdoor Window Thermometers.

The thing about the La Crosse Technology See-Thru Outdoor Window Thermometer is that they made them too well. They read from -22°F to 122°F with a temperature accuracy of +/ 1.5°F. There’s a weather resistant case too. Some people say that makes them better than regular guys. Maybe I even agree with that. But I’m the one with the gun.

Last week we found one hanging out in front of an apartment. We don’t know why they come back for sure. All we can do is guess. A lot of them are found with their low battery icon glowing. They run on a single AAA alkaline, and two come in the box, right next to the two adhesive strips. And they can’t change it themselves. Some of us regular guys think that’s what they’re after. But that doesn’t make sense to me.

That one outside the apartment. I caught it before 8:00 AM, when the MAX record resets. The MIN record resets at 8:00 PM, every day, but that’s not as important. The MAX showed me that it had been somewhere warm. Space isn’t warm at all. I figured that meant it had been hiding somewhere. And since the La Crosse Technology See-Thru Outdoor Window Thermometer updates temperatures every ten seconds, it had to be somewhere close by.

I asked a few questions and they led me to the glass panel. Maybe it was outside a window, maybe a door, that doesn’t matter. What matters is what I found there. There was little book full of temperatures. Written down, every day, like a diary. They told the story of a range I’d never know. Hot, cold, moderate, beautiful, I sat there and flipped through it for an hour until I was almost crying. About halfway through a second set of numbers appeared, almost the same, but not exactly. I tried to figure it out. Then I heard a click.

I moved slow, one hand on my weapon. There was a curtain, it shook a little. I grabbed for it and threw it aside. There she was. The second La Crosse Technology See-Thru Outdoor Window Thermometer. Looking at me like I was a monster.

I always heard the La Crosse Technology See-Thru Outdoor Window Thermometers were solitary. Turned out these two were a pair. They stood side by side, taking readings that were close, but not exact. They shared everything. They even shared the trip to Earth.

I had a lot to think about that night when I was drinking off my pay. About how maybe a regular guy wasn’t always something good. About how maybe just doing your job wasn’t always an excuse. And about how even a bunch of numbers could tell a good story. If the author was human enough.

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