“Mama, tell the story again!” little Peter AA asked. Papa AA frowned behind his paper. He never shared his young wife’s love of scary stories. He felt those stories led to a breakdown of society, or worse, dancing. But he was willing to turn a blind eye if it made his son happy.

Mama AA smiled as she sat beside Peter AA, her adopted son, pretending she did not understand. “The story, Peter? Which one? There are so many.”

“Tell the one from the old country, Mama! Tell the one about the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera!”

Mama AA ran her hands through Peter’s hair. “The Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera? Oh, but surely that’s too scary! A young boy like you shouldn’t fill his thoughts with Kodak cameras.”

Peter leaned his weight into his mother playfully. This was how she always told the story. Some nights she would first mention the Schneider-Kreuznach 10x optical zoom lens with the 5x digital zoom. Some nights she would begin by hinting at the 7.1 megapixel resolution. Some nights she would talk about the capture grid line display or the digital red-eye reduction. Little Peter AA never knew how the story would begin. But it was the ending he found most exciting.

“Mama, tell the part about the 2 inch color LCD screen!”

Mama AA pretended to be horrified. “The screen? Oh, no, Peter! For it is the screen on which you can watch the video, the 640×480 30 fps VGA resolution video! Can’t I tell you about the panoramic photo mode instead? How the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera gives an overlay so you can match your pictures as you take them? Or a nice story about robots who hate shopping?”

“No, Mama, tell the good part!”

“All right. If you’re sure. The Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera lurks in the woods, using image stabilization to minimize the effect of camera shake and subject movement. It is patient, and can sit for days just watching the cows from afar. But as soon as you’re alone, and it’s quiet, the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera strikes… to feed on two AA batteries!”

Peter hid his face behind his hands, his eyes peeping out just a bit. “How long do they last in the camera?” he asked as though it was all brand new. Mama AA moved in close, her fingers curled like claws.

“Not long, Peter. Not long at all. Soon the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera has to hunt again. For the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera is well designed and full of features, but for all glory there is a price. And for the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera the price is paid… IN BATTERIES!!!”

Mama AA pounced on her son and he screamed, then giggled, the two wrestling together on the floor as monster and victim. In his chair, Papa AA raised the paper a bit higher so that no one could see the terror in his eyes.

Soon mother and son were in their bedrooms, fast asleep. But still before the fire was Papa AA. For he knew in his heart that the Kodak ZD710 7MP Digital Camera was there in the dark, waiting for the right moment. And he feared he might never sleep again.

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