Batteries? What about us door-to-door power salesmen? What are we, and our hamsters and generator wheels, going to do NOW?

Back when I was a young lad, I would sit on the stoop and hear the call of all the tradesmen. "Ice! Ice for sale!" "Cheeee-seeeees! Fine Cheeee-seeees!" "Whooo wannnnts aaaaa sunnnnflower seeeeeeed!" But the greatest of all was the man who walked the streets with nothing but a hamster-powered generator and insulated gloves. The greatest... was the power grinder.

But now, that way of life might be forever lost. Because of these cheap, easy to use Kodak batteries, no longer need people wait for the afternoon power grinder visit. No longer will the lights flash and the smell of ozone fill the hall. Children who once laughed gleefully at a sprinting hamster will today merely pop in a battery and go back to their video games unthinkingly.

So cherish your traditions, oh, youth. One day, time will strip you of them.

And somewhere, a hamster weeps.

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