“Whoa. Is that a spaceship?”

“That is totally a spaceship. Come on, grab the JVC MiniDV Camcorder with 35x Optical Zoom and let’s get over there.”

“The door’s opening! The door’s opening! I’m glad I hit the DATA button that tells me about the battery life and recording time without having to let go of the camera!”

“Dude, are those really the first words you want an alien to hear from an earthling? Come on, be cool.”

“Shut up, shut up, here he is! Wow! A real alien! Hey, say something, man!”

Picard and Dathon at Eladril.

“Um… okay. Hi? Oh, this is our JVC MiniDV Camcorder, it’s not like a gun or anything.”

“Oh, hang on! This is one of those aliens who talk in metaphors, so ‘Jack and Jill went up a hill’ could mean ‘Let’s go out for drinks’.”

“How could a civilization like that even develop a rocket program?”

“I don’t know, maybe they just got them from the Nazi planet like we did. Look, it doesn’t matter, he’s here now, clearly he wants something.”

Hud and Rob, never ceasing.

“Wow. No idea.”

“But he sure looks good on the 2.7 inch 16:9 LCD monitor. This clear LCD feature really makes a difference.”

Heather, alone, so scared.

“You think he abducted this Heather chick?”

“Hey, there’s a Firewire port on this thing, you think it works with iMovie?”

“Of course it works with iMovie, it’s a webcam too.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic, we can do a vlog about this later!”

“Let’s use the NightAlive and get that cool light sensitive effect.”

Paris, her legs wide?

“See, he knows! Wow, that girl really gets around.”

“Oh! That’s it! Don’t you see? He wants to borrow our JVC MiniDV Camcorder with 35x Optical Zoom!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, watch! Wimpy, paying on Tuesday, gladly!”

Gilbert Gottfried, just thrilled to have work!

“See? He’s happy! He must have watched a whole bunch of our tv signals and learned about our ‘stories’ so he could express himself. He just wants the camera. Help yourself, space pal!”

T.J. Hooker, just before the credits! Hannibal, loving when a plan comes together! Seinfeld, the final episode!

“Bye bye to you too, man! Glad we could help! Enjoy that JVC MiniDV Camcorder with 35x Optical Zoom!”

“Wow, we really understood each other! Two planets, working as one. It’s just a shame we didn’t get to keep a record of his visit.”

“Au contraire, mon frere. Because, since the JVC MiniDV Camcorder with 35x Optical Zoom has no SD slot, it runs on a MiniDV tape… like this!”

“You kept the tape? That’s great! But where’s he gonna find a MiniDV tape these days?”

“That’s his problem. Hey, want to go watch Alias on dvd?”

“Wow, would I?”

“Yeah, that’s what I asked.”

“Let’s just go.”

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