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But that’s exactly what has happened here folks! Jack Grapple here, alongside my broadcast partner, 46-time American Samoa/Polynesian Title Holder “Darling” Darryl Dangle coming to you LIVE from the Udaamagax Dome in beautiful Cold Bay, AK!
“It’s great to be back in the Aleutians, Jack. I have a lot of fond memories here!”
Indeed you do, but speaking of fond memories, one man has lost his tonight and may never recover them! I’m speaking of course of current Undisputed Patagonia Champion Bolas De Fuego, who earlier tonight reported that someone had stolen his JVC Everio HD Camcorder with 4GB SDHC Class 4 Memory Card from his locker. He and I and just about every fan packed inside the Udaamagax Dome here tonight suspects only one man: Shameful Seamus O’Shaughnessy.
“That’s a completely unfounded accusation, Grapple. You’d better watch yourself or O’Shaughnessy might take legal action. I’d be a witness.”
You would, Dangle. You’re almost as gutless as he is.
“If you keep it up you won’t have to worry about legal action. You’ll have to worry about ME taking FIST action!”
Oh calm down, Dangle! Oh, wait. The champ has made his way to the center of the ring and he’s asking for a microphone. Let’s listen!
“People of Cold Bay, I have something I want to say to you. Tonight something very dear to me was taken. My JVC Everio HD Camcorder was more than just a camcorder. It had One Touch Upload to YouTube capabilities. It had a 20x Optical Zoom. And it had videos of my little daughter Consuela’s third birthday.”
Aw, not CONSUELA!
“But now someone has taken it from me, probably to distract my mind from my upcoming War on Wheels Match with Duke Puke inside a tractor trailer being hauled by a semi truck at up to 70 mph for the entire length of I-5 next week.”
Be sure to tune in for that match and more as part of our TanksKilling holiday Pay Per View event!
“But I really want to upload that birthday party video so my family can see it. So I’m asking whoever the culprit is to come out right now and face me in a Fewer Holds Than Normal Barred Match. The winner will get the camera. AND the Undisputed Patagonia Championship Belt!”
Holy cow! What a challenge issued here tonight! Will the coward who stole Bolas De Fuego’s camcorder step out? Will we see Shameful Seamus O’Shaughnessy admit to his crimes?
“There’s no crime to admit to, Jack!”
Wait! Here comes someone! It’s…it’s…
“It’s not Seamus, I’ll tell you that!”
No it is NOT, Grapple! It’s Big Biff Bash storming out from behind the curtain and racing into the ring! I thought Bash was banned for inhumane tactics from the Federation of International Superstar Turnbucklers!
“Not in the Aleutians he’s not, Jack!”
Bash storms into the ring before the bell can even ring! And OH MY GOODNESS! He just smashed de Fuego in the head with his own camcorder! Oh no! There’s blood everywhere!
“That’s called effective wrestling!”
The champ looks like he’s out cold! Oh, Patagonia I am sorry to say you may have a new champ here tonight!
“Patagonia doesn’t DESERVE a champion as incredible as Big Biff Bash!”
I’ll agree that they don’t deserve him, that’s for sure!
“Wait a minute! Who’s this?!”
It’s Shameful Seamus! Shameful Seamus O’Shaughnessy is sprinting to the ring!
“Probably to exact his revenge on De Fuego for those unjust accusations! He’s so-”
BLARNEY SLAM! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! O’SHAUGHNESSY JUST LEVELED BIFF BASH WITH A BLARNEY SLAM!
“Why would he DO that?! What’s he THINKING?!”
There’s the bell! This match ends in a Disqualification due to interference! And per the rules the belt can’t change hands on a DQ! Bolas De Fuego is STILL the champion!
“I don’t understand this at all, Jack.”
I don’t either, and neither do the fans! What will this mean for next week’s Tag Team Typhoon match?! Tune in next week!
Assorted Buttons, HDMI & Component Outputs
Close-Up of Lens
Zoom, Snapshot, and Record Buttons
2.7" LCD Screen
4GB SDHC Memory Card
Package Contents
Packaging
Warranty: 1 Year JVC
Condition: New
Features:
Product Specifications:
Software System Requirements:
In the box:
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