You never forget a moment like that. The year was 1991. I was watching SportsCenter on TV with my dad, wishing I could fly like Michael Jordan or hit like Reggie White, but knowing I was too slow and heavy to ever make those dreams come true. Then I saw him. A hero. A titan. A vision in an overstretched double-knit polo. He was John Daly, he was a champion, and he looked just like me. That was a powerful idea for an overweight, lonely 38-year-old kid.

I vowed, then and there, to follow in his deep, deep footsteps.

Well, stuff happens or whatever, so I hadn’t quite gotten around to it yet. But when I saw this 16-piece John Daly XDS golf set made by Dunlop, the flabby flame was rekindled. It comes with drivers, irons, a putter, and a carrying bag with a built-in stand: everything you need to play the Daly way, except for balls, a course, an ashtray, and a cheeseburger warmer.

Now, I’m new to golf, and I’m not the kind to patiently work on my game for a long time before I see results. I want to hit stuff hard and watch it go far. So the huge driver is perfect for a golf rookie like me – I get out there and I’m whaling the ball before my pit-stains even show. It’s like hitting a baseball with a corked aluminum bat on steroids, with extra pine tar. And when they told me the utility 4-wood was good for hitting out of trees, well, I knew it was the club for me.

Hey, sports doesn’t have to be the exclusive preserve of the toned, trained, and talented. I’ll never steal third base or run a precision seam route. I’m more likely to slam a fistful of curly fries than a basketball. And the only “hat trick” I’ll ever do involves hiding a flask under my stocking cap so the security guards don’t throw me out of the arena again. But with John Daly’s inspirational example and his Dunlop clubs, I’m an athlete, too. Or I will be, as soon as I finish this chili dog.

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