Some people like the Jabra BT2040 Bluetooth Headset for the typical reasons: it lets you talk on the phone while keeping your hands free to do yo-yo tricks, knead pretzel dough, or fire a pistol. Others enjoy the fact that it doesn’t ever need to charge thanks to its onboard AAAA battery. Still others just like to be the only guy at the party who knows a AAAA battery exists.

But we like it because it’s the perfect prop for freaking out the squares during our frequent walkabouts in the big city. Here are our favorite things to say into our Jabra BT2040 Bluetooth Headset when we know bystanders are eavesdropping:

• “I’m on my way home, so put on that slinky little negligee I like, Dad.”
• “The people at the rendering plant are starting to ask uncomfortable questions.”
• “Put five large on the Houston Oilers to win it all.”
• “I don’t care what people say. I’ll never believe Michael Jordan could do that to those puppies.”
• “Please, baby. If you’ll just come back to me, I’ll never ask you to do that in front of strangers ever again.”
• “I just wanted to tell you goodbye before I martyr myself. May God strike down the infidels.”
• “Yeah, yeah, yeah – the doctors keep telling me I’m contagious, too.”
• “Man, that deal-a-day web site is the perfect front for laundering our cocaine profits.”

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