Hello? Oh, hey, how’s it going? WHAT? WHAT’D YOU SAY? YOUR WHAT IS INFECTED? HANG ON, HANG ON…OK, there. Sorry, I had to go to another room to get away from my Roomba. I love that thing, but sometimes it’s hard to hear over the din. If only there were some way I could program it to run when I’m not home, so I could enjoy the benefits of its three-stage cleaning system, dirt-detect feature, and bagless debris bin without having to endure all the noise.

Oh, really? Huh, I didn’t realize some of them came with schedulers. So all I’d need to do is program it to clean at a certain – I SAID ALL I’D NEED TO DO IS PROGRAM IT. NO, PROGRAM IT! UGH, HOLD ON…

Sorry, the Roomba followed me into the bedroom. I’m on the sun porch now. Anyway, so, you were saying I, like, program it to leave its home base at my preferred time, right? And then it’ll just clean the floor and go back to its home base to recharge when it’s done? Whoa. Yeah, you’re right, I do really need one of those. Hey, did you hear about Steve? Yeah, the doctors say it’s inoperable. INOPERABLE! I SAID INOPERABLE! DAMN, I FORGOT TO TURN ON THE VIRTUAL WALL! THE ROOMBA’S GOT ME CORNERED! Hey, hey, robot! What do you think you’re doing? Let go of that! Ow! Get off my – ow! HEY, I’VE GOTTA GO DEAL WITH THIS ROOMBA! IF I DON’T CALL BACK IN 15 MINUTES, CALL THE POLICE!

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