The part where Emilio Estevez gets high and goes on a dope-fueled gymnastics fit, shattering a pane of glass with his voice like Sean Cassidy—OK, that’s a little unrealistic. But The Breakfast Club got one thing exactly right: Back in high school, we used to love going through each other’s wallets.

Beyond our brand-new drivers’ licenses and Sub Club cards, none of us was carrying anything he really needed. The contents of our wallets were only contrivances to impress any cute junior who might ask to have a look. And, oh, how we contrived! The fake police badge. The NAUI certification card. Ticket stubs from arena rock concerts. A small library of friends’ photos, trimmed to fit into scuffed plastic sleeves. The velcro closures of our Batman wallet could barely contain it all.

But wait—this was the crap we hoped would impress our classmates? It really was a different time—a lamer time. Imagine how completely their simple minds would have been blown if we’d produced anything even half as awesome as the remarkable 512 MB iRiver U10.

About the size of a business card, this ingenious little marvel plays music and video, displays digital photos and runs Flash-based games. Its eye-catchingly, bright, vivid 2.2-inch LCD screen doubles as its control interface, with “direct-click” response that makes it a cinch to find just the right file with the gentle touch of a fingertip. No stylus, no control keys required.

All that would be plenty of rad-ness for one doo-dad, but the U10 isn’t done blowing your socks off. It also sports a built-in microphone so you can record memos, dictate angry letters to the editor, or sketch your next hit single on the go. There’s a built-in FM tuner, real-time clock and timer-controlled recording function. There’s also a demidozen Macromedia Flash Lite games (including Sudoku, the numerical crossword game that’s sweeping the globe).

With 512 MB of internal storage, you can carry about a workday’s worth of CD-quality MP3 tracks (encoded at 128kps) or 16 hours of WMA tracks (at 64kbps). The U10 plays MPEG-4 Simple Profile (SP) files up to 320×240 pixels in size (encoded at a maximum of 384kbps and 15 frames per second, with audio encoded in MP3 up to 128kbps), and you can convert video with a free, downloadable utility called iRiverter.

Transfer files by super-fast USB 2.0, choose between 10 EQ settings (along with a user-defined setting), and enjoy SRS WOW virtual surround sound for a 3-D soundscape and superior bass. The U10’s internal, rechargeable lithium-polymer battery provides up to 28 hours of playback, and recharges when connected to your PC via the included USB cable.

Those high school wallet inspections are a distant and fading memory by now, but it’s only a matter of time before some eligible flirt, Homeland Security agent or Capital One pitchman wants to see what you’re carrying around. If you’re like us, you’ll want to be packing something more impressive than a laudromat ticket and a prophylactic three years past its use-by date. You’ll want to be packing the iRiver U10.

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