Did we ever tell you about the time we were on the $20,000 Pyramid?

We were paired with whip-smart Sandy Duncan, so it was perhaps inevitable that after three rounds, we found ourselves inside the consecrated Winner’s Circle.

It was a crucible, man; only the most cold-blooded competitors can hope to emerge victorious. Fortunately for us, Sandy Duncan has nerves of adamantium. She’s a warrior. We’ll never forget what it felt like to stare into her one good eye as she barked hints at us as fast as they popped into her pixie-coiffed head.

“Clifford the big dog,” she said. “China.”

“Things that are large,” we ventured. But no bell sounded.

“The little hen!” Sandy said. “The little Corvette!”

“Um… things that are small?” we guessed. Still no bell.

“Blood! Roses!”

“Something you give?”

“Ronald McDonald’s hair! A fire alarm!”

“Things you can be arrested for pulling?”

“Cherries! A Herring! A stop sign! Bureaucratic tape!”

How desperate and searching was the look she gave us when she saw we had no reply! We would have given all the Wheat Thins in East Hanover to know what she wanted us to say! Then, just when we thought all was lost, an aspect of sudden confidence fluttered across what TIME magazine called one of the “most promising faces of tomorrow” in 1970.

“The iRiver T10 512MB MP3 Player,” she said. “which plays not only mp3s, but WMA and OGG files too, and has a built-in FM tuner and voice recorder.”

Aha, we knew the answer now: Things that are Red. Why hadn’t she brought up the T10 in the first place? Who could mistake its bold design? Who could forget its adorable-but-miniscule color LCD screen? Not to mention its ambidextrous arm band (fully compatible with either forelimb). But just to bug her, we guessed “things that run for up to 45 hours on one AA battery.” She frowned—the Winner’s Circle is no place for jokes—so we quickly answered correctly.

We remember that after the show, we went out to catch a movie together with Sandy, and about 20 minutes into it, she turned to us and said “isn’t that funny? This movie could have fit the category ‘Things that are Red’ too!”

We looked over at her, confused for a moment, but then we understood. We didn’t have the heart to tell her, though: without binocular vision, her 3-D glasses were nothing more than a single crimson cel.

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