Oh, yay! The mail’s here! Bills, bills, bills, magazine, bills… Aha! Finally!

At long last, my Doctor Who season 17 videotapes have arrived! Boy, it sure was a long wait, but at least I have the smug satisfaction of knowing that my steampunk torrent system is foolproof and unhackable. Choke on it, MPAA! You’ll never catch me and my friends! And it’s all thanks to the Ion VCR 2 PC USB Videotape Conversion Player.

See, the Ion VCR 2 PC USB Videotape Conversion Player is basically just a VHS player with a USB connection. It makes it easy to convert old videotapes to a format that lets you move your videos to DVD, or iPod, or PSP, or even your computer! Hey, who am I talking to right now, anyway? The postman already left!

Ah, well. Whoever you are out there, you should know that the Ion VCR 2 PC USB Videotape Conversion Player can be used as a plain old VCR as well, letting me pop in tapes and watch them on any TV. That means these VHS tapes are now just as good as downloaded files. And really, does the mail take any longer than the average month-old torrent with one seeder?

So you crazy Snow Crash types keep on looking for open wifi on your Android or whatever it is you do in Futureland all day. I’ll be here with my top hat and goggles, keeping it real with a big stack of tapes and my Ion VCR 2 PC USB Videotape Conversion Player. Hey, wait a second… this isn’t Doctor Who, Season 17… this is some kid’s piano recital! Boy, I hate it when people tag their cassettes incorrectly.

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