Of course, true fans already have woot-off lights. But some people don’t care for those.

But let’s pretend you’re one of those people who are here every day but hate the idea of “community”. You’d rather be caught dead than admitting you read the writeups (which all suck, by the way) listen to the podcast (seriously, why can’t you just shut up and sell things?) and understand the in-jokes (God, you’re all such nerds and you’re ruining the Internet). Don’t you deserve lights as well?

For you, JadenGrouchy, we’ve got these Intermatic Malibu Solar Deck Lights. They’re compact, durable, high-impact plastic, and they fit neatly on your deck, hidden just out of view. They’re weatherproof and shockproof and require no wiring. And best of all, they won’t have our logo anywhere.

While you’re grumbling that you’ve just been made into a forum meme, which are all terrible and useless incidentally, distract yourself by hitting the button to buy the Intermatic Malibu Solar Deck Lights. Then you can enjoy the lovely summer night out of doors, instead of sitting at your computer, getting mad at strangers. Kiss kiss.

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