No, no. I’m not “Player Two.” I’m the second man. Between one and three. That’s why I only rate a Intec Wii Controller.

It’s part of video game culture. I can’t take it too hard, that’s just how it is. The first man, he gets to explore, take chances, set the standard. Maybe he knows his motivation and backstory because he learns that in the intro. Me, I’m just waking up flashing in a really weird location that’s hard to get out of. That’s how my work day begins. That’s what it’s like to be the second man.

That’s one of the things I sort of like about the Wii. See, not only do you get a cool controller set such as the Intec Wii Controller, with a Wave Motion Sensor and Nunchuck, you also have access to a number of games that are just as much fun as the 80s arcade hits, but without that “one two three” crap. I mean, think about it. All those really good players who could play all day on a single quarter? Who finish the game without dying? What, did they want to get me fired? I got a virtual family at home! I don’t want my kid having to go through You Don’t Know Jack just because I can’t afford to send him to some MCAT Prep DVD-Rom!

Anyway, with the Intec Wii Controller, you’ll be having a great time from the start. Like, with Wii Tennis? Man, you’ll be swingin’ everywhere! I personally enjoy doubles because that lets me get out there without the fear of dying. It’s fun to enjoy something just for the sport of it. Plus that third man never gets to join in, which rocks. Yeah, I admit it, I’m biased against the third man. But I can’t help it, I mean, that third guy has the best life of all! He gets all the cool late-stage weapons and people play him like he’s made of fragile glass. With me it’s just run run run see how far we get oh no a pit well we got one more guy so it’s cool. It’s just so insensitive. But hey, at least with something like Dragon’s Lair or Space Ace it went fast. MAN, did I hate those games!

So speaking as the second man, I endorse the Intec Wii Controller as a great way to get me on the screen safely. It’s like a taste of being Player Two, and let’s face it, every second man dreams of the day he’ll be promoted to Player Two. Also, did you know a Wii can handle up to four players? That’s a whole new career path for someone as Player Three or Player Four! And with a full year in Gauntlet on my resume? I’m pretty much a lock! Big time, here I come!

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