What the heck? There are bloggers that get free stuff for writeups? Somebody’s been holding out on me.

I mean, here I am, day after day, churning out writeup after writeup by the truck load for NOTHING and all this time I could’ve been asking for expensive laptops and other perks for favorable ones? DUDE. And I thought people did this kind of job because they LIKED it. Boy, what a fool I’ve been.

To think, I could be sitting here with a stack of cool stuff brought to me in tribute by the product sellers. “For you, O Great Olympian Stallion of Copywriting Sass And Wit! We bring to you this day fifteen iPads wrapped in bacon on a platter full of our finest meats and cheeses brought to you by one hundred Roombas in exchange for your favor towards our humble iHome 8 Button Wireless Laser Mouse Pro with two programmable buttons and 1600 dpi. If our treasures please you, O Mighty And Wise Master Of Words, do speak of our 2.4 GHz frequency wireless mouse with simple plug-n-play mini-USB reciever and five quick launch media buttons in a kind and wonderous light. Many more wonders will we deliver to your door for your services in highlighting our Windows compatible mice, capable of horizontal and vertical scrolling and available in either Red or Blue, Scribe Of Light And Joy!”

But noooOOOooo. No free stuff for the Woot guys. Just sell, sell, sell like a good little Screaming Monkey. And I’m not even going to begin to go into what I had to do just to get one of those little guys. The short version involves a lot of begging and tears, though.

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