This year, instead of a TV, consider settling around an HP TouchSmart 23” All-in-One Desktop PC w/640GB Hard Drive. It’s a Thanksgiving tradition everyone can understand!

“Class, settle down please! Today we’re going to talk about Thanksgiving. Okay? Okay! So, our first report is from Jimmy Whitbread. Jimmy, please go to the front of the class and tell everyone about what Thanksgiving means to you.”

“Ahem. Once upon a time, there was a big city where a bunch of white people lived. And these white people worked for rich Sicilians, and they had a brand new HP TouchSmart 23” All-in-One Desktop PC with 640GB Hard Drive. And everybody liked where they lived very much. But then, one day, they all had to leave their home and travel, because they were being prosecuted by the people in charge.”

“You mean persecuted, Jimmy.”

“No, Mrs. Green, the police were very specific. They said Daddy would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Something about a Ponzi scheme. Anyway, one night, everybody woke up and got in the car and drove really really fast! And after much travel, the white people reached their new home. It was a beautiful place, very green, and full of bounty.”

“You mean like corn and squash and venison.”

“No, Daddy broke the lock on a warehouse full of paper towels. And the walls were bright green, and there was a forklift too! But Daddy said I couldn’t play with the forklift because it wasn’t safe. Then came the day when the white people needed to use their HP TouchSmart 23” All-in-One Desktop PC with 640GB Hard Drive to make new birth certificates. Of course, the 4GB of RAM would be fast enough to handle the built-in Windows 7 Home Premium 64 operating system that came pre-installed. And the Wireless Keyboard and Mouse would let them work from any position. And the RF TV Input would let them attach an antenna or plug the cable right into their PC. But no matter what they tried, they couldn’t figure it out! So they turned to the Indians.”

“Native Americans, Johnny.”

“No, Mrs. Green, the Indians. Rajee and Sandeep Kallianpur of E-Z Fix Tech Repair. They’re right down the street, very polite. Daddy helps them with their books now and they like it so much, they keep an extra copy of everything he does! And I always get the first samosa when we go to their house for dinner, and it’s so hot, I can’t even eat it! But then I do! Anyway, the HP TouchSmart 23” All-in-One Desktop PC with 640GB Hard Drive was finally set up correctly. The 640 gig hard drive was ready to be filled, the SuperMulti 8x SATA Slimshot DVD Drive was busy making bootleg DVDs and CDs for Mommy to sell in the flea market, and oh! There was a maze!”

“You mean maize, Johnny. It’s another word for corn, you see.”

“No, I mean a maze. It was this cool videogame Rajee installed using the 6-in-1 Media Card Reader. I got to run around shooting werewolves! Pew pew! I didn’t want to let my sister play but she hit me with a roll of the paper towels and then I had to because my eye hurt.”

“I see. Well, thank you, Johnny. Very multi-cultural indeed. You can sit down now.”

“But I didn’t get to the best part! Turkey!”

“Now, Johnny, we don’t need to be reminded that on Thanksgiving it’s traditional to eat… hang on, does Sandeep play military strategy games?”

“He sure does! We installed the game using the 802.11 b/g/n WiFi and we all took turns. Sandeep was the Warsaw Pact, I was England, and my mom was Rome! We all arrived at Turkey at the same time and divided it three ways, and then I created a rocket that let me conquer the moon! And I won and I was so happy! And I said ‘Yaaaaay!’ and Sandeep laughed at me!”

“That’s very nice, Johnny. Well done. Now please take your seat while I use my cell phone to call the FBI. I’m sure they’ll want to talk to you about your father as soon as possible. In the meantime, class, pay attention to Chuntao Zeng as she gives her report. Go ahead, please Chuntao.”

“Well, for MY family’s Thanksgiving, we usually boot up our HP TouchSmart 23” All-in-One Desktop PC with 640GB Hard Drive and use the built-in Webcam to talk to distant family. Then we all go visit my Aunt’s house and take as much Chinese rock as we can.”

“You WHAT?”

“That’s right, my family maintains a beautiful zen garden in our backyard. And my aunt lives in China, so we visit during the vacation to bring back traditional stones. That way our garden is a symbol of keeping the family together and… is something the matter, Mrs. Green? You look so pale! Is this too much multiculturalism for you?”

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