And now, please welcome the next celebrity pal in our all-star roast tribute to the HP Pavilion S3320F, a guy so funny you want to break his kneecaps…the great Mr. Ron Dickles!

Thanks for that, thanks. Real heartwarming, you know? I’ve had better introductions in court!

But enough about the talent. We’re here to talk about the HP Pavilion Slimline S3320F, the only computer to buy if there’s nothing better in the trunk of the guy’s car. But doesn’t he look great, folks? Thin, slender, fits right in everywhere. I ran into him in the bathroom earlier tonight, I says “Hey, tell me a secret: how do you keep so thin at your age?” ‘Course, I couldn’t really tell what he was saying with his fingers down his throat!

He’s a real inspiration, isn’t he? This computer is living proof that you can be born with all the advantages – a leading brand-name, a 500GB hard drive, a 16X DVD±R/RW lightscribe drive, a built-in HDTV tuner – and still wind up on the remainder pile! A real riches-to-rags story, this guy, huh?

The college kids, though, they love the HP Pavilion S3320F. There’s something about the built-in TV tuners that drives them wild. Then they get a little older, stop smoking dope, and realize they need a real computer! But it’s fun while it lasts – like a high colonic! Only more expensive!

Now, I don’t want to call the HP Pavilion Slimline S3320F cheap. But mine is still sticky from the Cracker Jacks! It’s those Chinese-made parts that keep the price down, you know. Only problem is, you want to buy another Slimline S3320F an hour later! And hey, you believe those 6 USB ports? What do you need 6 USB ports for? I haven’t seen so many unused holes since the Slimline S3320F’s last round of golf!

In all seriousness, folks, I know you share my dream, that someday there will be an affordable, feature-rich, high-quality PC in every home in America. In the meantime, we’ll just have to make do with the HP Pavilion Slimline S3320F! Thank you! Good night!

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