Take it from me, man: the human race is screwed. Just the other day me and Rabbit were minding our own business, skating in the Lowe’s parking lot, not hurting nobody, when these cops come along and yell at us just for doing nothing, you know? I mean, yeah, Rabbit had tagged all over the Dumpsters, and I broke a couple of their potted plants, but we did that stuff, like, last week. They couldn’ta known it was us. Anyway, what else is there to do when you’re a teenager in this suburban wasteland, huh? Down with society, that’s what I say. When we overthrow all the cops, man, we can skate wherever we want.

Or listen to this. I was in my room messing around with my HP Pavilion Media Center TV m8330f Desktop PC the other day, looking at everything but then again looking at nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn’t hear her because I was watching some TV I’d recorded on the HP with its NTSC/ATSC high-def TV tuner and personal video recorder. And she starts screaming, “Mike! Mike!” And I go “What?” And she goes “You’re on drugs!” And I’m like “No, Mom, I’m not on drugs, I’m just enjoying the multimedia playback capabilities of this HP Pavilion, you know? Why don’t you get me a Red Bull?” She goes “No! You’re not playing with your computer! You’re on drugs! Normal people don’t watch TV that way!” So I’m all “Mom! Just get me a Red Bull!” All I wanted was a Red Bull, just one Red Bull, and she wouldn’t give it to me! Just a Red Bull! And maybe a better video card!

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