WATERBURY, CT (HP) – As his job performance numbers continue to fall to new lows, Senversys Electronics outside sales representative Jeff W. Humphries announced a major office shakeup Monday. In a move that pundits are calling “a decisive bid to restore his credibility with the public,” Humphries has replaced his existing desktop computer with a HP Pavilion zd8230us Media Center Notebook PC.

While the unconventional decision met with skepticism in insider circles, Humphries assured reporters that a notebook PC was capable of replacing, even outperforming, a more traditional desktop model. “The Pavilion zd8230us features a 3.4GHz hyperthreaded processor, 1GB of RAM, a dual-layer Lightscribe DVD burner and a 100GB hard drive – exactly the kind of capabilities that these times call for,” Humphries said. “And that’s not even taking into account its built-in wireless and Bluetooth capabilities and an ample 17” widescreen display.

“I think I speak for the entire administration when I say that we welcome the competence and vision that the Pavilion zd8230us will bring to the job.”

Humphries also announced that he and the Pavilion zd8230us will embark on a 17-day barnstorming sales tour to introduce the new member of the administration to the public. The administration hopes that the trip will win over critics by showcasing the Pavilion’s durability and its impressive capabilities. But Humphries’ rivals roundly panned the move.

“The American public won’t be fooled by another attempt by Senversys to paper over the cracks in their record,” said Rudy Ortiz of TransMicroTrans, Inc. “Talk all you want about that 17” LCD, Mr. Humphries, but no monitor is big enough to hide the reality of your misguided priorities and your failed policies.”

In a statement, the outgoing desktop PC said it was looking forward to spending more time with its family.

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