“OK, Brandon, so the kids are asleep, and we should be back by, oh, midnight or so. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge. Thanks! Bye!”

Yeah, see you later! Have fun at karaoke!... Finally. I thought they’d never leave. At last we can have a little alone time. I’ve missed you so much.

I’VE MISSED YOU TOO, BRANDON.

Baby, I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. I couldn’t get that Intel Core i7-720QM 1.60GHz processor out of my mind. You know how hard it is to find a laptop with 6GB DDR3 memory? I’m a lucky guy.

UM, THANK YOU.

Come over here on this couch and let me feast my eyes on that Nvidia GeForce GT 230M graphics card. Mmmm. How do you look so good?

BRANDON?

Yeah, baby?

DO YOU JUST LOVE ME FOR MY GAMING CAPABILITIES?

What? No, baby. Don’t be silly. I love you for the beautiful, intelligent notebook PC that you are. The 640GB hard drive, the 802.11b/g/n WLAN and Bluetooth wireless, the Genuine Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit. I love it all, baby. You know that.

BECAUSE I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD JUST, I DON’T KNOW, WATCH A MOVIE OR SOMETHING TONIGHT.

Oh, OK. OK, baby, we can do that. Actually, I have the perfect thing in mind. Here. Put this on.

WH-WHAT IS IT?

Just a Simpledrive 2TB USB Hard Drive, sold separately. It’s nothing weird. Lots of guys use them with their notebooks, to enhance their multimedia pleasure. You know how many downloaded movies you can fit on that thing?

I DON’T KNOW, BRANDON. I FEEL WEIRD ABOUT IT.

It’s not weird, baby. It’s beautiful. Just give it a try.

W-WELL, OK, I GUESS. HOW DOES THIS WORK NOW?

Just hook it up to one of your four USB ports, and- wait. What was that?

WHAT WAS WHAT?

That sound. Did you hear that? It sounded like a car door-

“Hey, Brandon, it’s just us! We forgot our sequined gloves and our ‘Dirty Diana’ routine just isn’t the same- hey! Hey, what are you two doing on that couch? That’s my laptop, you little punk! Get your filthy hands off of it now!”

We weren’t gaming, sir, I swear! We were just, uh, working on some spreadsheets for school!

DON’T HIT HIM, DADDY!

Back to top