O mercurial mankind, how quickly jaded grows thee. The first photocopiers, or “electromimetiphotographetchers,” caused a sensation heretofore unseen since the advent of the nylon stocking. Entire towns spontaneously fainted in the grips of “electromimemania,” New York Yankees owner Jacob Ruppert traded his stake in the team for one, and it is said the Empress of Poland slept on her machine, citing its positive effect on the movement of the humors throughout the body. Similar public frenzy greeted the first fax machines, computer printers, and scanners, world-shaking wonders all.

Nowadays, who cares? Combination printer, scanner, copier, and fax machines have become so ubiquitous that to raise the subject at a party is to mark oneself as an eccentric bore, unsuitable for partnerships financial or romantic. We saw a currently-unhoused gentlemen on 193rd Street using one as a toilet the other day, to little notice from passersby.

But just imagine the awe that would have greeted the HP OfficeJet 5505 All-in-One in those innocent days of yesteryear. Its 4800×1200 dpi print resolution would have been the toast of Broadway, while learned men from the academies of Geneva and Lyon would have rushed to its side to observe its 15 ppm black & white print speed. A nationwide lecture tour would surely have ensued, the HP OfficeJet 5505 appearing before packed houses in all 48 states. The USB interface would only have confused people, there being no personal computers at the time. But nonetheless, the HP OfficeJet 5505 would have been hailed as the marvel it is, not dumped on some deal-a-day web site like so many LeakFrogs.

We didn’t expect you to jump out of your seat with joy when the HP OfficeJet 5505 appeared on your monitor. But we think if you try to glimpse it with the eye of someone who had never had the chance to know such wonders, such as Jerome “Curly” Howard or Jenny Lind (“The Swedish Nightingale”), you’ll see just how terrific it really is. If you won’t buy one for yourself, why not buy one for Curly?

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