“You tell Hoover he’ll never take me alive! No vacuum cleaner on Earth can stop Dirty Boy Floord!”

“Give yourself up, Floord! The carpet is surrounded! We know you’re hiding in there somewhere!”

“Come and get me! I’m dug in down here, deep in the fibers! No way you’ve got the firepower to roust me!”

“You’re wrong, Floord! Hoover’s called in the big guns! We’re talking about WindTunnel technology! And once you’ve been snared by that, the Cyclonic Suction will work you over in the dirt chamber! Even if you run, we’ve got a 28-foot cord! With the multi-surface brush roll, not even hard floors are safe! You don’t stand a chance, Floord!”

“I heard that before! I’m still here, ain’t I?”

“That’s what Dirtinger said, too! And Bonnie & Crud, and Messy Face Nelson! Seen them lately, Floord? No, you haven’t – they’re in the dustbin!”

“Aww, blow it out your HEPA filter! I’m done talking!”

“Have it your way, Floord. Fire it up, Killigan.”

VHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Aaaagghhh! Mama! They- they got meeee-”

“That’s him, Chief. There he goes, Dirty Boy Floord, right into the dirt chamber. Anything else I can do here?”

“Yeah, search his car for women’s underwear.”

“But – why -”

“Orders from higher-up, Killigan. Way higher-up.”

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