I demand style in every area of life: my furnishings, my wardrobe, my lovers, and my fried insects.

To be sure, stinging and buzzing insects can ruin even the most meticulously arranged garden party. These unwanted guests must be banished, without exception or pity. But a gauchely utilitarian insect electrocutor is very nearly as bad. We are talking about the grounds of my home, not some NASCAR tailgate in a drainage ditch. It is not enough that the insects be electrocuted. They must be electrocuted in style!

So I appreciate these Home Style Bug Zappers for their aesthetic appeal as well as their 2200 volts of insect-scorching power. I prefer the Monaco, of course, but a variety of other looks are available, none completely hideous. And the internal rechargeable battery defeats the scourge of unwieldy and unattractive power cables. For someone with my reputation to maintain, a no-frills bug zapper would spark contempt and ridicule as surely as it sparked insects. Host my friends and rivals with an ugly bug zapper? I would sooner be eaten alive by mosquitoes!

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