Cats have catnip. Crackheads have crack. And little girls have Hello Kitty.

Yes, a few decades ago some Japanese scientists broke the genetic code of the immature female mind and used their findings to concoct Hello Kitty, precisely calibrated to be irresistible to any female between the ages of 2 and 12. Or so we assume.

That’s the only explanation we can come up with for the instantaneous and enduring bond that HK forms with any girl who chances to see her. And this USB toy adds fairy wings and a magic wand, to further tighten the sparkly lasso around the innocent. Rumor has it that they considered having her seated upon a purple pegasus unicorn, but the prototypes combusted from an excess of twinkle.

“Mastermedia” and “Sanrio” are obvious fronts. We have no idea who’s really behind this Trojan cat and her gaggle of adorable pals. But let’s hope our money is all they want.

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