Pumice: the only soft rock that will make you move your feet.

C’mon Janice! We’ve gotta go! The volcano, it’s supposed to blow any day now!

“Oh, yeah, umm, okay. I’ll be on my way in, like, ten minutes… No need to wait for me, though.”

Janice! The helicopter is leaving now!

“Oh, well, that’s cool, I’ll just get on the next one. You can go ahead, Rick, it’s fine.”

Next helicopter?! There is no next helicopter! This is your only chance to get out before the volcano erupts!

“See, that’s just the thing: I was actually kind of hoping to be here for the eruption…”

WHAT?

“It’s just that, I’ve been feeling so embarrassed about my flaky, dry feet, and I thought if I hung out around this volcano long enough, I’d be able to get some volcanic pumice to rejuvenate my heels.”

Janice, you don’t need to do this…

“But I do, Rick! More than anything in the world! Pumice is the key to soft feet, not to mention crusty knees and elbows.”

No, Janice, I mean you don’t need to stay here to get volcanic pumice. You can just borrow my Heeldini.

“What’s that?”

It’s an exfoliating foot scrubber, Janice. And with its extended reach handle and ability to be used in the tub or shower, it’s a great alternative to messy moisturizing creams and lotions.

“Sorry, Rick, could you repeat that? I can barely hear over the racket that helicopter’s making!”

Oh God! Wait! WAIT!!!

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