Way back in the Dark Ages of the late 1900’s, certain grumpy old stick-in-the-mud parents tried to limit the time their children spent watching TV. These fascist fuddy-duddies forced their kids to engage in archaic, possibly European practices like “reading books” and “playing outside” instead of letting the kids watch some red-blooded, all-American TV any time they felt like it.

Good thing we know better now! Today’s parent can choose the Hannspree 9.6” LCD TV (or TVs) of their child’s preference with a clear conscience. How could they be bad for kids when they’re so durned cute?

Let’s see…here’s an adorable stuffed giraffe and a plush lion with oversized buttons, perfect for tots and toddlers; a retro Atomic Age TV with a Mickey Mouse motif, a nice transition model for your tween; and a kicky wood-finish design that would look great in a teenager’s lair. All four feature state-of-the-art Hannspree 9.6” LCDs. Your beloved offspring probably won’t notice that they only have NTSC tuners and a 4:3 screen format. But if they do, they’ll be too hypnotized by the ads for sugar-coated breakfast cereals and lead-painted Chinese toys to care. And they’ll be way too zonked out to interrupt your conference calls with irritating pleas for parental affection.

Studies show that the average American child is exposed to 40,000 TV commercials per year. This shocking statistic should be a source of shame for all of us. But with a Hannspree 9.6” LCD TV in every kid’s room and a hands-off attitude in every parent’s heart, we can reach 50,000 and beyond!

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