"My dear boy," said the man in the grey ascot. "My dear boy, surely you could tell?"

He was testing me. A man who ran a big corporation like this didn't ask a question without already knowing the answer.

"It's a HANNspree Xv 32 inch LCD HDTV," I told him over the sound of the slow-moving fans.

"How many questions did it take?"

"I figured it out when it told me it could be both computer monitor and TV."

"But how many?"

"Eighty five."

"How many does it usually take?"

I blew a smoke ring at the owl in the corner. "Look, Mr. Tyrell. I've been around for a long time. I remember using a round antenna to try and watch Bugs Bunny dance around in blackface."

When Tyrell talked he was smooth as a Steve Winwood vocal track. "Of course, you're one of the best, that's why I requested you. But we here at Woot pride ourselves on the little things. Picture in picture, Surround sound, 16:9 aspect ratio, an ATSC tuner, HDMI input, V-chip-"

"I can read the specs as well as you can, Tyrell. It doesn't matter how good it is, you know the rules. You can't have this outside the off world colonies. It's just too good."

"Too good, Mr. Deckard? But it gets even better. Imagine you could have all the television you ever wanted... for under $500. Shipped."

"You're talking crazy, Tyrell. 720p resolution and 8ms response time on a 32" widescreen for under $500? You've gone too far." I started for the door and Tyrell laughed at my back like he was Frankenstein Luthor Von Doom.

"Eighty five questions, Mr. Deckard. And you know your televisions. Imagine how hard it would be for the man on the street to say no to this deal! Too good, Mr. Deckard! Too good!"

I heard the sound of an electronic C chord as I rode the elevator down through the chiaroscuro and played with the gum wrapper Bag o' Crap someone had left outside my door this morning. $500. Tyrell was right. He was right and there was nothing I could do to stop him.

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