Take a hike, Baskin! Get lost, Robbins! Go fly a tie-dyed kite, Ben! Put that in your water pipe and smoke it, Jerry! You’re dead to us now. You’re redundant, unnecessary, irrelevant, outmoded. The Hamilton Beach 4 Quart Capacity Ice Cream Maker is the killer app(liance) that will forever ruin your palate for major-label ice cream.

No, from now on we’ll be swinging to the sweet sounds of our own home-crafted, hand-tooled iced creams, yogurts, custards, sherbets, and gelati, four delicious quarts at a time. It’s fully automatic, eliminating the old ice-cream injury known as “cranker’s elbow.” It includes over 20 recipes, since nobody’s born knowing how to make delicious ice cream. And the lid is of the Easy-Lock variety, because ice cream tastes better in your mouth than all over your kitchen counter.

Now that we’ve got the Hamilton Beach 4 Quart Capacity Ice Cream Maker, we’ll never touch a spoonful of anybody’s ice cream but our own. Hey, we don’t know where that other stuff’s been. And we certainly don’t trust some overworked, underpaid FDA-crat to make sure it’s free of animal droppings, medical waste, or seeds and stems.

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