Wait a minute. Where are all the GOOD world records in this game? The 20-foot mustaches and the long curly fingernails and the overweight twins on motorcycles?

I even went out and bought a carton of Parliaments so I’d be ready to beat that guy with all the cigarettes stuffed into his mouth. But no! Denied! You’d think that with “36 wild and unique challenges”, there’d be room for the evocative and bizarre world records of days past. I guess I’ll just have to strive for Guinness glory on my own. And the life of a world record holder doesn’t leave much time for playing video games. Maybe I’ll play Guinness World Records: The Video Game when my place in the book is finally secure – say, on my 131st birthday.

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