72 pods of coffee on the wall!
72 pods of coffee!
Take one down, brew it in the Gourmet Coffee Cafe,
Ah, never mind. This isn’t working. How about this one:

She’s got pods, she knows how to brew them
She never, uh, what rhymes with pods?
Yeah, that one’s going nowhere. There’s gotta be some song we can appropriate to explain that this Gourmet Coffee Cafe Pod Cofeemaker comes with 72 pods containing a variety of coffees and teas in convenient, mess-free single-serving portions. And we can’t forget that it brews up a cup in a mere 60 seconds. Let’s try:

What if pod was one of us?
Just a single-serving coffeemaker like one of us?
And we sold it all for twenty bucks
Just to get it out of our warehouse?
Please, please, no more. We’ll have that damn song stuck in our heads all day now. Curse you, Joan Osborne, curse you to hell. And not regular hell – like, some kind of Zoroastrian hell where there’s always a howling dust storm and carnivorous worms burrow beneath your skin. OK, maybe:

You say expresso, I say espresso
You say cappucini, I say cappucino
Let’s call the whole thing off because you’re kind of an idiot.
Yeah, let’s.

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