Sir, you want to tell me what you were doing just now, sitting in your car, here? Come on, sir. I know what I saw.

I’ve been on the pervert beat for three years now, OK? So I recognize that furious up-and-down arm motion when I see it. You seriously expect me to believe you were charging a flashlight? A flashlight with no batteries or bulbs? Now how about you step out of the car and -

What? What do you mean, “horrible pruning-shears accident”? What does that have to do with- oh. Oh, God. That’s disgusting. Does it still hurt, or… no, no, I don’t want to touch it. I didn’t even want to see it. Yeah, you’re free to go. Obviously, you’ve suffered enough.

Back to top