You know you’ve got to get noticed to get anywhere in life. But all too often, people look right past you like you’re a piece of furniture. And not a hip Scandinavian piece of furniture. More like a faux-colonial Ethan Allen end table. And nobody ever made a faux-colonial end table Vice-President of Acquisitions, or gave it its own DJ night. You’ve stopped wearing that shirt that matches the wallpaper, which is a good start. But you’ll need more than that to go from anonymous to enormous.

So strap on the Garrity Luxeon LED Headlamp and get ready for attention. The main 1-watt pivoting lamp,  three secondary white LEDs and two red LEDs,  say “Shield your eyes, world, because a star shines among you.” Supervisors, future fans, potential mates: they’ll all be forced to take notice whether they like it or not. Not even the area behind you is safe, thanks to the two red blinking LEDs around back. Like the aircraft spotlight that draws attention to a new Jiffy Lube, the Garrity Luxeon uses the power of light to let the public know you will not be ignored.

Sure, you can also use this headlamp to help you see in dark places like caves, attics, mines, fallout shelters, and movie theaters. But its sure-fire attention-getting powers are too valuable to keep cooped up in the dark. Don’t just sit around waiting for the spotlight – become the spotlight with the Garrity Luxeon LED Headlamp!

Nudity also helps.

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