Every lady enjoys a romantic evening on the water, right?

Come on, Mildred. There’s no need for the sour face. It’s our anniversary, after all. Take a look at that gorgeous night sky. Aren’t the stars beautiful tonight? You’d never see that kind of sky all cooped up inside some expensive restaurant.

Look, I know you were hoping for something a little fancier or extravagant, but just get a whiff of that fresh night air. Ahh! Who knew oxygen smelled so GOOD, you know? Diamonds don’t smell that good, you know. Neither do tickets to Jamaica, for your information.

Relax a bit, honey. Just let the romantic sing-song of crickets and bullfrogs wash over you. Can you hear it, darling? No? Here, let me turn up the volume on these Floating Wireless Waterproof Pool Speakers from Excalibur.

There we go. That’s some clarity, and from such a compact speaker system, too. It’s almost as if we’re actually at the lake and not floating in a canoe in the neighbor’s pool. The remote dock and Built-in 915 MHz wireless transmitter helps keep the iPod I loaded all those sound effects on nice and dry, too, which is good. I’ve got a sassy little Barry White playlist for when we reach “shore”, hint, hint.

You might want to finish your wine kinda quick, though. The Johnsons get back from their PTA meeting soon, and I told Dad I’d have his boat back before midnight.

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